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第十八章（第19页）

???找???了???一???整???个???上???午???，???始???终???找???不???着???紫???曦???，???苍???尧???内???心???是???又???惊???又???急???。

???现???在???的???紫???曦???如???此???虚???弱???，???她???会???上???哪???儿???去???呢???？

???就???在???他???万???般???无???奈???之???际???，???一???个???地???方???突???然???闪???过???脑???海???。

???会???吗???？???她???会???在???那???里???吗???？

???凭???着???印???象???，???苍???尧???来???到???了???紫???曦???生???母???的???墓???地???。

???紫???曦???果???真???在???这???儿???。

???他???走???近???她???。

???只???见???紫???曦???靠???坐???在???她???母???亲???的???墓???前???，???双???眼???闭???着???，???苍???白???的???脸???上???挂???着???泪???痕???。

???「???紫???曦???。???」???他???轻???唤???，???伸???手???想???抹???去???她???脸???上???的???泪???，???她???却???忽???然???睁???开???眼???睛???，???那???空???洞???无???神???的???双???眼???让???他???有???些???震???惊???。

???「???走???吧???，???我???送???你???回???医???院???，???晚???一???点???还???要???接???受???化???疗???啊???。???」

???一???听???到???“???化???疗???”

???两???个???字???，???紫???曦???浑???身???颤???抖???了???一???下???，???慢???慢???地???把???头???转???向???苍???尧???，???一???双???大???眼???无???神???地???瞪???着???他???。

???「???紫???曦???？???」???她???的???反???应???令???他???忧???心???，???昨???天???化???疗???後???的???情???形???他???听?????了???，???「???我???知???道???你???难???过???不???舒???服???，???但???是???唯???有???接???受???化???疗???控???制???病???情???才???有???机???会???痊???癒???，???这???是???一???段???艰???辛???的???过???程???，???让???我???来???陪???着???你???，???别???害???怕???好???吗???？???」

???「???你???陪???我???？???」???好???像???他?????了???什???麽???不???可???思???议???的???外???星???语???言???，???紫???曦???一???双???大???眼???锐???利???地???瞪???着???他???，???那???眼???神???让???他???感???到???陌???生???。

???「???你???以???为???你???是???谁???？???谁???要???你???陪???？???你???走???、???你???走???！???」???紫???曦???突???然???发???了???疯???似???地???边???喊???边???推???开???他???，???「???是???谁?????无???论???要???面???对???多???艰???困???的???难???关???都???会???陪???着???我???？???是???谁???要???我???别???害???怕???别???旁???徨???，???无???论???如???何???都???会???在???我???的???身???边???？???结???果???呢???？???当???我???昨???天???难???过???的???时???候???你???在???哪???里???？???当???我???昨???天???痛???苦???的???时???候???你???在???哪???里???？?????什???麽???会???陪???着???我???，???都???是???骗???人???！???你???走???！???我???不???要???见???到???你???！???你???走???…???…???」???喊???完???已???是???泪???流???满???面???泣???不???成???声???。

???「???紫???曦???，???不???要???这???样???。???」???情???绪???失???控???的???她???看???起???来???仍???是???好???脆???弱???，???从???未???看???过???她???情???绪???崩???溃???，???他???心???痛???，???将???她???轻???拥???入???怀???不???敢???太???大???力???，???眼???里???含???着???泪???柔???声???安???慰???，???「???对???不???起???，???紫???曦???，???是???我???的???错???，???告???诉???我???，???我???要???怎???麽???做???？???我???都???听???你???的???，???只???求???你???别???哭???别???激???动???好???吗???？???」

???紫???曦???在???苍???尧???的???怀???里???不???断???落???泪???。

???她???後???悔???了???。

???她???有???什???麽???资???格???凶???他???？???她???有???什???麽???权???利???凶???他???？

???对???於???无???法???忘???怀???啓???枢???的???自???己???，???对???於???随???时???有???可???能???失???去???生???命???的???自???己???，???他???为???什???麽???还???要???对???她???这???麽???好???这???麽???温???柔???？

???她???好???气???自???己???也???好???讨???厌???这???样???的???自???己???。

???她???怎???麽???能???如???此???对???苍???尧???呢???？???她???并???不???是???真???的???怪???他???啊???。

???因???为???化???疗???的???痛???苦???所???带???来???的???委???屈???让???自???己???的???情???绪???崩???溃???，???她???只???是???想???好???好???哭???一???场???。

???好???想???对???他?????声???抱???歉???，???却???哽???咽???的?????不???出???话???来???。

???事???实???上???，???她???也???无???力???再?????任???何???话???了???。

???或???许???是???刚???刚???用???尽???力???气???的???哭???喊???，???现???在???她???只???觉???得???好???累???，???她???只???想???就???这???样???偎???在???他???的???怀???里???什???麽???都???不???想???。

???知???道???紫???曦???疲???累???，???苍???尧???脱???下???外???套???覆???盖???在???她???的???身???上???，???轻???轻???地???拥???着???她???，???直???到???她???沉???沉???睡???去???，???才???背???着???她???回???到???医???院???。

???她???好???轻???。

???苍???尧???完???全???感???觉???不???到???她???的???重???量???，???彷???佛???他???背???着???的???只???是???个???羽???毛???做???的???布???娃???娃???。

???对???紫???曦???他???除???了???心???疼???，???还???是???心???疼???。

???「???紫???曦???，???你???一???定???要???振???作???，???一???定???要???好???起???来???，???我???…???…???不???管???是???苍???尧???，???还???是???你???的???啓???枢???哥???，???都???一???直???在???你???的???身???边???啊???。???」

???「???云???漪???，???怎???麽???了???？???」

???邀???云???漪???来???法???国???渡???假???的???某???天???，???他???们???刚???从???外???头???回???来???，???啓???桓???停???完???车???，???一???进???门???就???看???见???云???漪???脸???se???惨???白???的???跌???坐???在???地???上???，???身???旁???掉???落???一???封???信???。

???「???啓???桓???…???…???我???们???回???去???吧???。???」???连???声???音???也???在???微???颤???。

???「???究???竟???发???生???什???麽???事???？???」???啓???桓???皱???着???眉???。

???那???是???封???信???？???谁???写???来???的???信???？???写???了???什???麽???？

???「???啓???桓???…???…???我???们???到???底???做???了???什???麽???？???」???云???漪???开???始???落???泪???，???「???只???顾???着???自???己???的???幸???福???，???那???麽???就???惩???罚???我???们???的???自???私???吧???，???可???是???，???为???什???麽???…???…???为???什???麽???要???这???样???对???紫???曦???…???…???」

???「???云???漪???，???是???谁???写???来???的???信???？?????了???什???麽???？???」???不???安???的???感???觉???升???起???，???该???不???会???是???…???…

???「???你???知???道???？???你???早???就???知???道???了???对???不???对???？???」???云???漪???流???泪???望???着???他???，???眼???里???没???有???责???备???只???有???痛???苦???，???「???所???以???你???要???我???来???法???国???，???以???渡???假???放???松???的???名???义???，???不???让???我???知???道???国???内???发???生???的???一???切???，???是???吗???？???」

???实???际???上???她???确???实???无???法???责???怪???啓???桓???，???她???也???无???法???否???认???自???己???也???是???有???私???心???的???。